So, this is kind of embarrassing, that it took me a while to figure this out.  I have not been doing pure asp.net server control programming for a while, but I figure since it took me a while, maybe there is someone else in the same boat.

So, you have a GridView or DetailsView that has standard “Edit” “Update” “New” type command buttons on them.  The way they get there is by having the declaration something like this:

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